"Two years ago, I was not okay."

I was 38. Two kids. A husband who tried his best. A job I was barely holding together. From the outside I looked fine. Inside, I was on my phone 6 hours a day, drinking too much wine after the kids went to bed, and crying in my car at lunch. Because of a tragedy in our family, all of this became the reality I was living in, things unraveling in ways I didn’t want and didn’t choose, but somehow still happened. We will come back to this little later.

I was on my phone 6.5 hours a day. I was constantly scrolling, checking messages, and watching what everyone else was doing. It was the addictive feed and the constant motion of scrolling that kept pulling me back in.

I tried screen time limits and leaving my phone in another room, but nothing worked.

Then I opened my My First Stitches kit.

I only used my phone for crochet video tutorials and important calls, with all notifications muted. My hands stayed focused on crocheting, and finishing each card gave me a sense of achievement that scrolling never did. It completely changed my habit and reduced my screen time.

Within a month, my screen time was under 2 hours a day.

Two years ago I lost my mom (cancer she was 63), and before that my life was already extremely rushed everything on a strict schedule, no real time for people, just rushing through days. But when that tragedy happened, my life turned completely upside down.

After that, I really fell off track. I spent more and more time on my phone, doomscrolling, overthinking, and drinking wine at night and it only made everything worse, but I couldn’t seem to stop. I didn’t care about my plans or goals anymore. I was just thinking about her. Everything slowed down, but you never really understand life like that until you lose someone.

If you’ve lost someone close, you know what happens next. The mind doesn’t go quiet. It repeats everything. Did I call enough… Did she know… Why didn’t I try more…

There were moments when life felt too heavy, with thoughts I didn’t want to have just passing through. But I had a child and a loving husband, and I kept going.

I tried to think my way out of grief, but I couldn’t.

While crocheting, I noticed something. When I was counting stitches and watching each loop form, my mind finally had somewhere else to go. No noise. Just the next stitch.

My mom crocheted too, but I never had time to sit with her and learn. I regret that.

That was also one of the biggest reasons I started crocheting. It has helped me a lot, especially with these cards, because they really hook you in once you make one stitch, you just want to make the next.

I was lonely. Not the “I need more friends” kind. The deeper kind, where you’re surrounded by people but nobody really knows what’s going on inside. I needed new people, something to pull me out of my comfort zone, because it often felt like I was being told “that’s just life,” instead of being heard or supported.

I joined a Facebook crochet group just to look at projects. After my first wobbly little square from card #3 using single crochet, I posted it. I almost deleted it.

Within an hour I had thirty comments from women all over the world cheering me on, sharing their own first wobbly squares, telling me to keep going.

I cried at my kitchen table over strangers being kind to a piece of crooked yarn.

Two years later, everything is different.

We now meet every Wednesday at Olivia House for crochet sessions. I know all 25 stitches. I’m still not an expert, but I can make pot holders, cup coasters, and more—and I love it.

Crochet didn’t just teach me stitches. It gave me people.

Crochet gave me purpose again. It became something I could create for myself, something I could give to others, and even something I could sell at crochet markets. It’s become my thing. And thanks to My First Stitches, I was able to learn everything that brought me here where I am today.

But it’s not just about what I can crochet. It’s more than that it’s my hobby that reminds me of my mom and helps me with my thoughts and anxiety.

The wine wasn’t just at dinner—it was every night, and it was getting worse.

The first time I crocheted instead of pouring a glass, I didn’t even notice until I was in bed. The bottle was still in the kitchen, unopened. I had been so focused on card #6 that I forgot about it.

That’s when I knew something had changed.

The kit has this way of pulling you forward. You finish one card and want the next—what stitch comes tomorrow? That curiosity brought me to the couch instead of the wine.

No hangover. No guilt. Just a clearer head, a blanket on my lap, and one more stitch.

Depression does this cruel thing where it convinces you that you did nothing all day, and then uses that as proof that you’re worthless.

Crocheting broke that for me. No matter how bad the day was, there was always the curiosity of “how will this next stitch turn out?” That’s the magic of this crochet learning kit—it keeps you wanting to progress and unlock the next card.

I honestly don’t think I could’ve gotten through this hard period of my life without crocheting and learning so quickly with this kit. I’ve met so many people because of it, and I’ll forever be grateful to this craft for “saving my life.”